Holiday’s have come and go and I know for some, those moments were precious while for other’s it was dreading.
Family is such an important and huge influence in any individual’s life. Family history plays a tremendous role in development as a child leading into adulthood. Your parents parenting style, norms, generational cycles, coping skills, & family roles are learned through childhood and at times mimicked through adult hood. For the purpose of this post because it would be extremely extensive to discuss all topics, I would like to focus particularly on parenting style. As adults, do you ever subconsciously catch yourself doing or saying something your mother or father once have said or done. Positive or negative. Being a parent is so much more than giving instructions and leading. The structure you build within your household from the way you keep your cabinets organized to how often you throw your garbage out may seem like tedious activities but it most definitely demonstrates to your child your role in the home and how important keeping things neat & tidy are to you. If this action is done repetitive the neurons and networks in your child’s brain will eventually fuse and form the same learned behavior. This applies to any activity or experience positive or negative. Children are like sponges, they are learning beings and they can only rely on their five senses. What they feel, hear, see, touch & smell are the leading developmental tools utilized until they are able to formulate their own ideas and thoughts.
Growing up initially, I was raised in a strict household. I was told not to ask questions and do what I was told and that’s exactly what I did.
With this being said I would like to give a brief overview of the four parenting styles.
These parents are often viewed as the disciplinarian’s strict discipline is utilized with little to no negotiations and rules are rules & no explanations was required. Parents are usually less nurturing and has high expectations of their children.
Allow their children to do what they want with little to no guidance, they are opposite of strict and let children figure out problems on their own, communication is open and expectations are minimal.
Allow the child to have a lot of freedom there is no particular parenting style and communication is limited, little nurturing and no expectations.
These parents are reasonable and nurturing they set high and clear expectations, rules are clear and reasons behind them are explained communication is frequent and appropriate.
Parenting style is important to understand as a parent and as a childless adult. When a parent opens the door for negotiation and clear lines of communication this allows a child to express their thoughts and feelings and work towards a goal in a team effort. When a parent is more restrictive and has poor communication skills, the child would not gain the knowledge of communicating effectively or gain the concept of working together as a team. Don’t allow negative generational cycles, coping skills or poor parenting styles to seep through the relationship with your child or those around you.
Turn it around and make a change, It’s never too late.